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Archive For The “Society And Life” Category

WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOUR BOYFRIEND NEVER POST ABOUT YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA?

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WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOUR BOYFRIEND NEVER POST ABOUT YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA?

Any type of relationship can be hard but it’s all worth in the end if you love that person. Love is ambiguous but we do it because it makes us happy. Since we do live in a generation where technology is part of us then we tend to mix it with our love lives. This isn’t always a good thing and can cause a lot of problems or turmoil in our relationships. We tend to base our love for someone off of whether they’ve put us as their “man crush Monday” or “woman crush Wednesday” and that’s not really good. If you love a person you should know them and understand their reasoning behind things. If your boyfriend doesn’t post about you on social media, it doesn’t always have to be about him cheating or being embarrassed it could be other things.

 

OPTION 1 AND 2.

First off, he could simply just not get on social media that much and doesn’t really update people in his life like that. Some people are extremely private and don’t want their extended family or friends they never talk to anymore to know that they’re dating someone and it may be getting serious. It’s okay to be private like that especially when you truly are a reserved person. There are people like that in the world and with technology being invasive they may not want to show everyone their lives all the time. Secondly, he may not feel comfortable talking about you like that yet. If you guys have been dating for a short amount of time and you are expecting him to talk about you like you guys are married isn’t likely. Guys don’t really pick up on cues like that and honestly it’s a bit far stretched if you want him to post about you and y’all have been dating for 2 weeks. If you guys have been dating for a while and he still hasn’t then just ask him. If he cares about you and wants you understand he will tell you the truth.

OPTION 3 AND 4.

The third option could be that he may or may not be ashamed of you. This option was left as one of the last parts because you don’t want to go accusing him of being ashamed. That could really start an unwanted argument and make things worse in your relationship. Nobody really wants that and it’s better just to think about different reasons as to why he may not be posting about you. He could however not be ready to post about you yet due to multiple reasons like may be being ashamed at first. This is not a super likely option but truly you never know until you ask. The last and most harsh option could be that he is cheating on you or has someone on the side that he doesn’t want seeing you. If he shows sign of cheating then you really want to ask and confront him. When I say confronting I don’t mean yelling and throwing things but to calmly sit him down and talk to him. He may be more likely to tell the truth if you are calm and curious. It’s hard to tell if someone is lying but if you really want to be with him and feel that you not trusting him could push him away then you’ve got to let it be. I definitely know from personal experience that it is easier said than done but being jealous and controlling doesn’t get anyone very far. It actually makes people want to drift further away and not talk to you as much. Just make sure that you’re explaining your side of the story and your justifications as to why you feel this way and truly find a middle ground between the two of you.

 

YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU ASK!

Asking questions and having a general curiosity as to why he never posts about you is okay. If it bothers you and makes you feel that he is ashamed of you then you really should ask. If you have been dating him for a bit and know when he is lying then you can call him out on it. Social media isn’t reality but it is a huge staple in our society nowadays so if you feel that he should be posting about you, then sit him down and talk to him about it. Communication and trust can be the glue that holds your relationship together so remember that it may not be what you think it is. Everyone has a backstory and he may have had a bad experience with posting about his past partners so ask before assuming.

 

Trust is what helps keep people together. If your boyfriend has never given you a reason to not trust him then it may be best to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him say his piece. It may be hard because you could’ve been hurt before but it could be worth it to you to hear him out. No one wants to give up on a relationship that they’re worked so hard for, so hear him out and make him understand that it bothers you. If he is just being rude after you’ve attempted to talk to him about it then it may not be worth it to stay with him because, he won’t communicate with you properly.

 

SHARE this article with your friends to tell them about boyfriends and the usage of social media!

 

Rebekka Howell women.com

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6 SIGNS THAT YOU’RE TOO PASSIVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

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6 SIGNS THAT YOU’RE TOO PASSIVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

In a relationship, everyone wants to be supportive of their partner’s choices— and it’s normal to put your partner’s needs and wants in front of your own sometimes. But it’s easy to go too far. And being passive in your relationship can quickly go from you being nice and supportive to being bulldozed or taken advantage of. When relationships are too one-sided, then you no longer are equal partners and there’s only so long you can keep having one person take advantage of the other before the relationship starts to deteriorate.

It’s especially difficult because normally being passive is a sign of kindness and empathy— and it can be difficult for people who are used to deferring to their partners to actually make a stand for themselves. But you have to. Because even if you love the person, being in a one-sided relationship isn’t healthy and eventually resentments will build. It may feel like a loving relationship but, if they’re not putting themselves out there for you some of the time, then something is missing. You want to be with a partner who care about your needs as much as you care about theirs. Luckily, there are some really clear signs if you know what to look for. Here’s what you need to look out for:

1. Choices Are Never Yours

Hilary Duff, Lizzie McGuire, The Lizzie McGuire Movie

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You’re always going to the movie they want to see, eating the food they want to eat, and generally doing what they feel like. Maybe they ask your opinion and then ignore it— or maybe it’s just become the default that it’s their decision. Either way, it’s not good.

2. Your Opinions Are Getting Lost

www.giphy.com

If your opinion never counts in your relationship, chances are you’re not putting them out there in other areas of life either. If you don’t have strong opinions about what food you like, books, movies, politics, then being passive may have become too much of a way of life.

3. You’re Starting To Feel Resentment

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Like I said, you can’t keep it going forever. At some point you’re going to start to feel the weight of being passive all the time and never standing up for yourself. If you’re feeling angry or passive aggressive toward your partner and you don’t know why, you need to think about whether you’re having your needs met.

4. They’re Pulling You Away From Friends And Family

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If you’re really passive and they are really demanding, there’s a good chance that their family and friends’ events are always considered important— but there’s always some reason it’s OK that they skip yours. If you feel like you’re always making excuses to your friends but always hanging out with your partner’s people, that’s a concern.

5. You’re Desperate For Approval

kardashian

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One of the reasons we can be passive is that we’re worried if we demand too much then our partner’s will no longer be interested in us. But who wants a relationship on those terms?

6. You Let Them Get Away With Being Cruel

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Being passive often comes from a good place, but if it gets out of hand that it can quickly turn into an unhealthy relationship. If one of you is more assertive, make sure that doesn’t turn into them taking advantage of you. Your needs, wants, and opinions are just as important as your partners and— thought they may always have a good reason why it should be their way— you need to stand up for yourself.

 

SOURCE: LEA ROSE EMERY www.women.com

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DON’T WORRY ABOUT BEING THE BEST. WORRY ABOUT BEING THE BEST AT GETTING BETTER.

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DON’T WORRY ABOUT BEING THE BEST. WORRY ABOUT BEING THE BEST AT GETTING BETTER.

Credit

 

The swift spread of digital technology has made it possible for us to closely track and measure just about everything in our personal and professional lives — from miles run, to calories cut, to products sold. And, thanks to the connectivity afforded by social media, it’s easier than ever to share and compare our results. Facebook, Twitter, online forums, and other internet communities all encourage at least a little — and in many cases, a lot — of social comparison. The offshoot is that more and more people are constantly striving to be their best, and some cases, the best. But this is the wrong goal.

 

If you want to be the best, you shouldn’t focus on being the best, you should focus on being the best at getting better.

 

 

Too often, people focus on achieving a specific end result or some sort of external benchmark. This is problematic whether you succeed or fail to accomplish your mark.

 

If you succeed, then it’s all too easy to get carried away basking in the glory. You’re liable to become complacent and next thing you know, you’ve already fallen behind your competition.
If you fail, then the opposite holds true: you’re likely to become sad, lose motivation, and in the worst cases, burnout and quit whatever it is you were doing altogether.

 

 

Any way you cut it, being too caught up in a result is a recipe for disaster. But if you are predominantly focused on the process of getting better, you become more resilient to both successes and failures, which shift from being singularly defining events to waypoints on a broader path of continual progression. This manner of pursuing progress is not only the healthiest, but also the most likely to result in lasting peak performance.
If you want to be the best, you shouldn’t focus on being the best, you should focus on being the best at getting better.

 

 

A personal example
A few months ago, I launched my first book, Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success. I really wanted the book to end up on the New York Times bestseller list (who doesn’t) and was told by a handful of knowledgeable sources that it had a good shot. Even so, I kept on reminding myself — I literally did this daily — that my real goal was (and still is) to become a better writer. Upon deeper reflection, I realized that getting on a list actually had little, if anything, to do with that broader progression.

 

When the book failed to appear on the list, I felt beat down for a little (I’m only human), but I wasn’t broken. I learned from the experience and swiftly got back to writing stories like this one and working on my next book. Had I been driven predominantly by landing on a bestseller list, odds are my funk would have lasted a lot longer. Perhaps I would have given up writing altogether.

 

 

Apply this mindset in your own life
Hopefully by now you can see the advantages of pursuing continual progress — of pursuing better — versus pursuing specific, external goals. Nearly all of the great performers I’ve come to know via my writing and coaching embody this mindset. Below are a few steps you can take to embody it too.

 

Select a specific capacity or area of your life in which you want to grow. Be intentional and remember, it’s really hard to take on too many challenges at the same time.

 

Read more: Don’t Worry About Being the Best. Worry About Being the Best at Getting Better.

 

By- Brad Stulberg

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GET SMART ABOUT YOUR GOALS TO STAY FOCUSED AT ANY AGE

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GET SMART ABOUT YOUR GOALS TO STAY FOCUSED AT ANY AGE



When you were younger, life revolved around goals: college degree, new job, traveling to a foreign country, running a marathon. Having your eyes (and mind) on a prize kept you motivated and engaged.

But as you age that focus tends to wane. What’s left to accomplish? Is it even worth striving for something anymore? Yet you need goals as you age more than ever.

“Goals are crucial to keeping your mental and physical skills sharp,” says Susan Flashner-Fineman, a coach at the Vitality 360 Wellness Coaching Program at Harvard-affiliated Hebrew SeniorLife. “You want your remaining years to be good ones, so what do you want them to look like? Goal setting can help you get there.”

A good way to establish new goals is to make them SMART, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely. The SMART approach ensures you’ve defined your goals clearly and can attain them. Here is how it breaks down.

  • Specific: Goals need to be clear, detailed, and connected to a meaningful outcome. Instead of “I want to be more active,” try, “I will exercise 30 minutes, five days a week so I can have the strength and stamina to travel to a new country.”
  • Measurable: If you have no way to measure a goal, it’s tough to know when you’ve met it. “I’m going to lose weight” works better with a measurable outcome, such as “I’m going to lose 15 pounds by my birthday in three months.”
  • Achievable: Avoid overly grand goals. “They should be based on what you realistically can do now, and not when you were younger,” says Flashner-Fineman. “If you used to be able to walk five miles without fatigue and now can only do a mile, lower your expectations with a goal of walking three miles without fatigue.”
  • Relevant: Is your goal important to your life right now? “You don’t want to set goals just to have a goal,” says Flashner-Fineman. “It needs to have a purpose, or you may find it difficult to stick with.” For instance, do you want to learn a language because it sounds fun, or do you want to connect with your family’s history or improve your cognitive health?
  • Timely: Is your goal something that you can take on right now — or is it best for later? Also, is the time frame suitable? You probably won’t be able to safely lose 20 pounds in three weeks or master a new skill in a few months. Make sure you give yourself adequate time.

Goal setting also can be a wonderful journey of self-discovery, says Flashner-Fineman. “You might abandon your initial goal or never quite reach it, and that’s just fine. Consider it a learning experience, and try again. Or you may realize that it wasn’t what you really wanted to do and venture into a new direction.”

4 goal-setting tips

  1. Break big goals into smaller ones. They won’t feel so daunting, and you’ll be able to celebrate success along the way. For example, if you want to write your memoirs, focus first on attending a writing class or researching your family history.
  2. Reward yourself. Positive feedback is itself a reward, so share your accomplishments with friends and family or reward yourself with purchases related to your goal.
  3. Change your approach to challenges. For instance, if you want to learn to paint, but don’t think you can because you can’t see well, or can’t hold a small brush, then perhaps switch to another art form that’s better suited to you physically, like sculpting.
  4. Use visual reminders. Keep a photo related to your goal in constant view, like a vacation destination or the sign-up form for a 5K race.

The post Get SMART about your goals to stay focused and on track at any ageappeared first on Harvard Health Blog.

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How to Stay Fresh by Going on ‘Idea Adventures’

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Many years ago, I made the decision to avoid a corporate lifestyle at all costs and earn a living working for myself writing and making pretty pictures.

The freedom of working for myself has brought with it joy and greatly reduced levels of office small talk.

Having done this for over ten years, I would not — and now probably could not — do it any other way.

The route I’ve chosen has allowed me to make cool illustrations of apes and aliens, earn a bit of money, and live and work mostly anywhere I want (writing this in Bangkok — how awesome am I, right?).


It has not been without its challenges, however. Not needing to follow a formal structure has lead to laziness and watching YouTube for hours instead of working, many times.

Not taking full control as my own boss has resulted in days where I’d consider cleaning out my email spam box a triumph.

I’ve been lonely and sometimes depressed through isolating myself without someone suggesting that it might do me some good to speak to an actual person at some point in the week.

About a year ago, I went on a week-long trip to Iceland with a friend. We hired a jeep, and covered as much of the country’s wild, alien landscape as we could.

The illustrations here were inspired by Iceland, but going on such an adventure also led to a new change in the way I approached my life from that point on.

I decided to bring adventure into my daily life instead of a once in a year short burst.

On every day that I can, I will go on a walk, sometimes a long one, and I will bring my notepad and my phone to take pictures and videos. I will use this adventure to collect and note ideas or simply document things I see as I go.

Read more: How to stay fresh by going on ‘Ideas Adventure

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Reading Will Save Your Mind – How Passive Media Entertainments Devolve Our Brains

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From television to Youtube and Netflix, to Hollywood film and mass media, we cannot escape motion picture entertainment. And so like anything you ingest physically, it is good to know what happens when you ingest things psychically. The science is easy to understand and there is something we can do in order to slow or nullify the rate of mental regression.

 

 

What separates men from apes is our well developed forebrain. This gives us tremendous mental advantages over our evolutionary cousins. We have the ability to critically engage our environments as well as plan for the future and reflect on the past. We can delve deep into creative processes and imagine great things.

 

It is to the advantage of those who wish to control people to keep them in a lower operating state mentally. The ideal sheep is reactionary, with little to no critical thought. TV watchers over the years become perfect sheep, consuming like madmen, triggered easily by fear propaganda, believing everything mass media created “authorities ” tell them. They don’t challenge any of it. They are propelled into belief and action through their lower Limbic Brain which is highly emotionally driven.

Thats right! Our brains are psychically and physically altered over time by passive screen entertainments

 

When one sits in front of a screen ingesting electronic hallucinations of reality, within minutes, depending on how strong the pysche, they are lulled into Alpha Brainwave state, a state that essentially turns the person into a receiver, allowing the media to write directly on to their subconscious.

 

Those who indulge in a lot of motion picture entertainments and rarely read, do not have strong forebrains, and this forebrain acts as a critical filter for the sensory information we receive. Reading strengthens the forebrain, which is great practice to offset the negative effects of motion picture media that we passively ingest. It makes us better bullshit detectors as well, as the mainstream media and Hollywood are full of propaganda.

The following short clip shows exactly how passive motion picture entertainment weakens and exposes us.

 

In these modern times, we are all going to indulge in at least some film and shows, but it is important that we spend some time doing things like reading, solving puzzles and doing other exercises that strengthen the neo-corticular faculties.

 

The liberal artistry in modern productions from “news” to cinema, contain much occult science, from color and sound manipulation, to lighting, to logical fallacies hidden in masterful rhetoric, that with with the continued drop in literacy due to “education” and increased passive entertainments, the power over our minds just keep increasing, as our mental abilities regress to that of monkeys.

 

The main reason why people don’t read anymore is because they are being bred through “education”, food and social life to become increasingly illiterate, and where does that leave them? Well, they must consume the imaginations of others, dumbed down to the lowest common denominator entertainment via passive screen media.

Their dreams are replaced with the creations of others, with increasing ill-morality, consumerism and idol worship sprinkled into the mass productions, and thus, a collective based, predictable and easily herded subconscious grows.

Most people think because they can close their eyes and see images, that it is true creative imagination, but all it really is, is the replaying of downloaded images, artificial dream imagery, and this is what guides their lives without them even knowing.

Read books and increase your knowledge and creative imaginations.

 

It increases the brain’s operating frequency, and thus the new brain faculties of the Neocortex. It increases not only imagination, but critical thought.

 

Reading even a terribly written book about nonsense beats almost anything you can find on TV. It exercises the brain, increasing forebrain faculty.

 

By – Doc De Lux

@docdelux

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Talking to Yourself Isn’t Crazy, It’s Healthy

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We all have an internal monologue for talking to ourselves. It’s a common way for us to assess information, situations and coming to decisions, etc.

 

Talking to yourself might seem like something only “crazy” people do, and some people are careful not appear like they are talking to themselves, lest they appear “crazy”. But seriously we all talk to ourselves. Talking to ourselves vocally for others to hear, that can get the bad rep for being “crazy”. But if we’re alone, talking to ourselves vocally isn’t seen with the stigma of being “crazy”. It’s really a certain type of vocal self-talk that shrouds one in a veil of “craziness”. Most of us aren’t there, luckily.

 

Self-talk may not have existed long ago in human history, and it could have initially been interpreted as hearing voices, or even the “voice of God”. That’s a theory from Julian Jaynes about bicamerlaism that relates to this. Check it out if you’re interested to know more, as that won’t be the topic of this post.

In Ancient Greek, the word for “I meditate” was phrazomai, which means “I speak to myself”, i.e. self-talk, talking and thinking to ourselves. This what meditation was originally for, in an active conscious form (which the passive form gets you into the mood and clarity for); to think, reflect, contemplate, introspect. To speak to yourself to figure things out. Reflecting images from the light of external reality, into the internal light projector of the mind’s eye (the 6th sense, consciousness), to discern and evaluate ourselves in existence, or discern and evaluate existence itself.

 

Talking to ourselves works great. We can get over conditioning from society by reevaluating ourselves, what we have been taught to accept, etc. We can dig into the past history to learn from mistakes and look into the future for the best way forward and what is potentially coming down the pipe for us to be aware of.

 

It turns out that talking to ourselves in the third-person might be even more effective in some cases, like for overcoming emotional distress. A first-of-its-kind study on third-person self-talk demonstrated the effectiveness of third-person talk in being less emotionally reactive.

 

What that means is, you can talk to yourself and refer to yourself by name, instead of using the “I”. “Why am I upset?” becomes “Why is KrNel upset?”. This allows us to dissociate from being attached to ourselves and what happened, seeing it in a less personal way, as though we are thinking about someone else. This provides some psychological distance and help to regulate our emotions.

 

Participants were shown neutral and disturbing images, and reacted in either the first or third-person while their brains activity was monitored. Referring to themselves in the third-person decreased the emotional brain activity compared to the first person. Activity for effort was also measured, and using the third-person narrative take no more effort than the first person. This may be a more effective strategy in the moment or “now” to cope with emotional regulation, compared to mindfulness or positive thinking which take more thought and effort.

 

Another experiment had people reflect on painful experiences in both the first and third-person perspective. Again, the third-person talk had less activity present in the brain region associated with reflecting on painful memories.

 

Both research teams that did each experiment are going to explore the benefits of third-person self-talk, and how they actually compare to other emotion-regulations strategies like mindfulness, positivity, EFT, etc. But so far, this seems like the easiest and most effortless form of emotion-regulation.

 

A quick dissociation from yourself using the third-person self-talk might prevent your from reacting emotionally and making a situation worse 🙂

 

Do you feel weird talking to yourself out-loud? I don’t when I’m alone. Sometimes I’ll murmur in public places like what to pick at the grocery store lol.

 

Do you ever talk to yourself (vocally or not) using the third person? I’ve only done it a few time as though someone else were talking about me so I spoke using my own name. I’ll have to try this third-person trick out next time an emotional upset occurs

 

 

@krnel

 

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Research: Does Drinking Diet Soda Raise The Risk of a Stroke?

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Soda: Credit

 

For diet soda fans, recent news reports linking these popular drinks to higher risk of stroke may have been alarming. A closer look at the study behind the headlines suggests there’s no need to panic. But beverages naturally low in calories are probably a healthier option than artificially sweetened drinks.

The study included 2,888 people ages 45 and older from the long-running Framingham Heart Study, all of whom filled out diet questionnaires up to three times over a seven-year period. People who said they drank at least one artificially sweetened soda a day were about twice as likely to have a stroke over the following decade when compared to those who drank less than one a week. Drinking regular, sugar-sweetened sodas or beverages did not appear to raise stroke risk.

However, these types of studies can’t prove cause and effect, only an association. Also, only 97 people (3%) had strokes during the follow-up, which means only two or three of those strokes could possibly be attributed to drinking diet soda, says Dr. Kathryn Rexrode, an associate professor of medicine at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital who co-authored an earlier, larger study looking at soda consumption and stroke risk.

Stroke risk from all sodas?

That study detected a slightly higher risk of stroke in people who drank more than one soda per day, regardless of whether it contained sugar or an artificial sweetener. Although the latest study didn’t detect a higher stroke risk from sugary beverages, that certainly doesn’t suggest they are a better choice than diet sodas. Many studies have already shown that drinking sugary beverages on a regular basis can lead to weight gain, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke, she notes.

Possible explanations

In fact, one possible explanation why sugary beverages weren’t linked to stroke in the recent study might be a phenomenon known as survival bias. In this case, that would mean that people who drank a lot of sugar-sweetened beverages may have died earlier from other illnesses such as heart disease.

Conversely, diet beverages may have shown a link to stroke because of a different issue, called reverse causation. In an attempt to be healthier, people who are overweight or have diabetes may be more likely to choose diet drinks over sugary ones. Their heightened stroke risk may result from their health problems rather than their beverage choice. “We might just be measuring the residual impact of obesity and diabetes,” says Dr. Rexrode.

Artificial sweeteners: Other shortcomings

Another conundrum: researchers don’t have any plausible explanation for why artificial sweeteners might increase stroke risk. Still, there may be other reasons to ditch them.

If you use artificial sweeteners to control your weight, you should know that the support for that strategy is pretty shaky. Some evidence suggests that artificial sweeteners make people crave sugary, high-calorie foods, thereby negating the sweetener’s potential to cut your overall calorie intake. And some experts believe that people who use these high-intensity sweeteners (which are hundreds of times sweeter than sugar) may come to find naturally sweet foods, such as fruit, less appealing and less-sweet foods, such as vegetables, downright unpalatable. If so, those people might be missing out on the many heart-protecting nutrients found in fresh, natural foods.

But Dr. Rexrode isn’t a stickler when it comes to diet soda. “I encourage my patients to eliminate regular soda and other sugar-sweetened drinks to avoid empty calories,” she says. “But if someone says they can’t do without a Coke in the morning to wake up, I’ll encourage them to switch to coffee or diet Coke.” Water is an even better choice, however. “There are a lot of ways to make it more appealing, both visually and taste-wise.” she adds. Try flavoring flat or sparkling water with a splash of fruit juice, or add frozen fruit, cucumber, or crushed mint.

 

Julie Corliss, Executive Editor, Harvard Heart Letter

First published on www.health.havard.edu

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7 Tips to help your Child Start School for the first time

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It’s a major milestone, starting school for the first time. Whether it’s preschool or kindergarten, that first school experience can be exciting — and scary. It can be a big adjustment for parents, too! Here are some tips to help ensure a smooth transition for everyone.

Talk about it. This sounds obvious, but we should never underestimate the power of narrative to reassure and empower. Talk about what the day will be like, about what you will do to get ready, how your child will get to school, what they will do, and how the school day will end — as well as what will happen when they get home. Read books together about going to school. Be very positive and supportive.
Go shopping together. There’s nothing like picking out a lunchbox or backpack, or a few outfits or some new shoes, to make starting school more exciting. They should be put aside and only used when school starts, to keep them extra special.
Start planning — and trying — some healthy snacks and lunches. This is especially true if you have a child who is very picky, or one who is used to hot lunches or other things that don’t work so well when packed for school. Try out some new fruits and vegetables with a dip like hummus (you can buy some containers for holding dip), some sandwiches (cut them in fun shapes), or wraps or stuffed pita. Look for recipes. Trying them ahead of time will not only be fun practice for school, it will help you figure out what will work and what won’t.

Get your child on a sleep schedule that will work for school. This is incredibly important, and many families start it too late (or don’t do it at all). Your child should preferably sleep nine to 10 hours every night. So figure out what time they will need to get up for school, count back 10 hours, and then start an hour before that with turning off screens and having calming routines. For example, if your child needs to get up at 7 am, they need to be in bed no later than 9 pm — which means all screens should be off, and activities should be things like reading stories or playing quietly, after 7:30 or 8 pm. Start this at least a week before school starts, preferably two or more weeks, so that your child adjusts to the routine (and you do too!).

Plan ahead for all the changes in routine. Sit down and think things through. Maybe it would help to lay out clothes for everyone the night before, or make some casseroles on weekends to heat up quickly on busy days. The more you plan out the week and have things ready, the easier it will be on school days. You also may want to figure out back-up childcare or pick-up plans, if they will be different from what you have done before. You don’t have to think through every possible scenario (as if that’s even possible), but doing some advanced planning can make a big difference.
Don’t overschedule your child (or yourself). It’s tempting to sign up your child for lots of activities, and to think that with your child in school you will have time for that extra project at work. Activities can be great, and you may indeed have more time, but don’t get overambitious, especially at the beginning. Besides the fact that kids need downtime, the transition to school can be stressful all around. Keep the schedule light until everyone gets their sea legs.

Get to know the school community, if you can. Take advantage of any get-togethers offered by the school, or set up some of your own. If you know some of the children your child will be at school with, see if you can arrange some play dates or meet somewhere like a local park. That way your child will start school already having some friends, and you’ll get to know their parents.
If your child has a chronic health problem like asthma, call the school (or school department, if it is a public school that is closed for the summer) to let them know and find out what authorizations and prescriptions you should bring to school. That way you can have everything ready for the first day.

Don’t forget to take a big breath, enjoy yourself, and be proud. This is a milestone worth celebrating.

 

Claire McCarthy, MD, Faculty Editor, Harvard Health Publications

Follow on Twitter @drClaire

www.health.harvard.edu

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Buhari returns to Daura for Sallah

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Buhari received by Emir of Daura

 

Thousands of people thronged the Daura airstrip in Katsina State to welcome President Muhammadu Buhari, who has arrived his hometown for Eid-el-Kabir.

A correspondent of the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the Airforce helicopter conveying the president and members of his immediate family landed at the airstrip at 4:45 p.m on Wednesday.

The president was received by the Emir of Daura, Alhaji Umar Farouk, politicians and thousands of well wishers.

Buhari, looking much healthier and radiant, smiled as he waved to the mammoth crowd. He walked from the airstrip to his residence in the GRA of the town.

Inside the town itself, Buhari’s arrival excited many people, who broke out in prayers for his good health.

Malam Aminu Shehu, a trader who could not control his emotion, described the arrival of the president as a relief to Nigerians, especially his kinsmen who spent a year without seeing him.

He praised God that the president was looking happy and not fatigued.

“we will continue to pray for the well-being of the president’’.

Hajiya Nana Mohammed, a politician from Maiadua Local Government Area, said the president was back for the better, describing his arrival as an unprecedented home coming and “we wish him well’’.

Alhaji Abdurrahaman Danmalan, a politician and the Danmadamin Daura, described the numerous reforms introduced by the present administration as a welcome development.

He said the president was pursuing the reforms on agriculture, education, security and infrastructure with vigour.

On his part, Mr Musa Mohammed, the Chairman of the Daura chapter of the NURTW, thanked God and well meaning Nigerians for their sustained prayers for the recovery of the president

He said his members would book for an appointment to see the president to formally greet and interact with him.

Alhaji Ali Rabe, the Chairman of the Daura Emirate Amalgamation of Political Associations, also told NAN that arrangement for a thanksgiving service had been concluded.

Rabe disclosed that the event would hold two days after Sallah. NAN also reports that VIPs such as governors and ministers followed Buhari into Daura.

Massive security has been mounted in and around the ancient town.

 

Auwalu Yusuf/Daura (NAN)

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